Thursday, December 24, 2009

Top Ten: #8 - 8 Reasons I Hate the Mini-Expansions

8) I paid $29.97 for the expansions. What did I end up paying for Wings of the Goddess?? And you're giving me a lot of these other things on the list, and NOT NEARLY an equivalent amount of content for the money.

(Related: Just a couple weeks after the release of Shantotto Ascension, Square-Enix starts selling the FFXI Ultimate Collection, including ALL the expansions, and the mini-expansions, for $19.99!! Sucker... Sucker... Sucker...)

7) And what do we get for this? Basically three small storylines that the better players in this game can complete in about a week apiece! That's not an expansion -- that's just throwing something in, calling it an expansion, and going from there...

6) Once again, Square-Enix spits all over solo players with these expansions. Fuck us for not trusting the rest of the cheating fucktards who have made this game the joke it is now. Not only do most of these battles require a full party, but it almost seems like some of them should require a freaking alliance!! (More on this... Oh, say... #1!)

5) King Cobra Clamp. 'Nuff said. I'm still stuck on that one. 0/4.

4) With the exclusion of Shantotto, the storylines SUCK. (At least what I've seen of them.)

3) The general "If you don't do the storylines when the rest of the game wants to (oh, say, 2.3 seconds from the release of the expansions), you can fuck ever seeing the ACP/MKdE/Shantotto gear, because you will be so far behind that no one will ever want to help you anyway."

It's basically the same with all the other storylines too, unless you luck in to someone else who's basically calumphing along... (WotG: Honor Under Fire, ToaU: Puppet in Peril, Never even really started RotZ...) But, as you'll see, it really comes into play here.

2) The fetch quests.

The fetch quests.

The MOTHERFUCKING fetch quests...

The first quest (and, at least in one case, the second!) was this motherfucking fetch quest where you had to compete with 6,372 other players in the same freaking zone to get a drop that sometimes was about 1/40!!!

And there should've been enough bitching and carrying on that Square-Enix should've seen the error of their ways (at the very least, they should've freaking known that #3 on my list applies!!).

So, what do they do?

Like the rest of the November Update, they cram Crafting down our throats and tack on the possibility that you might fail and have to start the ENTIRE FUCKING QUEST OVER...

I seriously and openly wonder if (and, if so, how many) people quit the game because of this garbage.

Not that the other end of the equation was any better...

1) Another common precept of Square-Enix: Unless you have elite friends or elite gear, fuck ever finishing any of them.

I have finished none of them, and probably will never finish any of them.

Let's see: The first one abjectly requires you to fight the piece of shit at a distance, and then sends clones after you to ensure you basically can't. DD? Go home.

The second one basically just rapes you seven ways from Tuesday, from what I've read...

And then there's the Double Shantottofication fight... One of those little bitches is bad enough -- TWO? So bad that the fetch quest to run this fight basically gives you Triple HP, MP, major magic resistance, and the like -- and it's STILL a bitch to win.

It's the same stuff I bitch about with Nyzul: It's almost as if they so demand that you have relic and mythic gear that you really don't need the gear you're winning!! Or, on the other hand, they know you're going to cheat your ass off anyway -- and expect you to!

A lot of the requisite requirements cannot be fairly obtained by normal human beings, so why playtest everything with it, almost demanding that enjoyment of the game requires you to have that kind of stuff? (And that's more than just these fucking mini-expansions...)

*sigh* And did I say "Fuck Christmas" yet? The Savior which is born to us this day is NOT named iPod!

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